The Impression of Love

The Impression of Love

Oil on Canvas 30x40

By: McKenzie S. Paxton

 The Savior said “For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet I will not forget thee, O house of Israel. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.” ₁

 Since the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ many may feel that the power, teachings, and love of the Savior left with Him. This cannot be further from the truth. As stated above, the Savior will never forget or leave us. In the spring of 1820 He and The Father appeared to a boy named Joseph Smith which led to a restoration of all that was lost. A prophet and apostles were called to lead the church through Jesus Christ just like in times of old.

 A little less than 200 years after the restoration I had the privilege of serving a mission and teaching people from all over the world about these men who were around during the beginning years of this restoration. I was blessed to share their stories almost daily for 18 months in a special little place called Kirtland, Ohio. In this town many incredible things happened that laid the foundation of Jesus Christ’s church. These men and women were taught and refined by the Savior so they could be the leaders of His church.

 There is a very important room that was set aside as a place called by God as “Mine House,” “The House of the Lord,” and “a House of God.” This place was found in an upper room of the Newel K. Whitney & co. Store and was called by the saints “The School of the Prophets.” This is where the apostles of Jesus Christ as well as other leaders would gather to learn. While gathering in this room the men were refined and made sacrifices in order become clean and worthy vessels for the Lord.

 In the Doctrine and Covenants it explains “Verily, thus saith the Lord; It shall come to pass that every soul who forsaketh his sins and cometh unto me, and calleth on my name and obeyeth my voice, and keepeth my commandments, shall see my face and know that I am.”₂ Many of the men that gathered in this room were men that forsook their sins, called on and obeyed the Savior, and kept the commandments. Therefore, the promise the Lord makes in this scripture was fulfilled for those men while pondering and praying in the School of the Prophets. John Murdock testifies “…About midday the visions of my mind were opened, and eyes of my understanding were enlightened, and I saw the form of a man, most lovely… and while I was endeavoring to comprehend the whole personage from head to feet it slipped from me.  But it left on my mind the impression of love, for months that I never felt before to that degree.”₃

 This experience is what is portrayed in my painting. I testify that the Savior leads and guides this church. As I felt the sacred spirit of the school of prophets there is no doubt in my mind that He lives today. As I testified of Him and heard others from all over the world testify of Him I felt Him there, and saw Him in the eyes and actions of those that I met during those 18 months.

 That "impression of love" that John Murdock speaks of can be taken two ways. It is the everlasting power and love that comes from the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, that when truly felt by one can never be forgotten. I believe it is also the symbol of the physical impression on the Savior’s hand that was received in the greatest act of love to save all mankind.

 The things I learned while serving in Kirtland and while working on this painting over the past 9 months are simple but so deeply embedded in my heart. He lives, He loves us, and He leads us still.

1.       1 Nephi 21:15-16

2.       D&C 93:1

3.       An abridged record of the life of John Murdock, church archives

Ours for Eternity

Ours for Eternity

This painting is one that is filled with miracles and tender mercies. It will forever be a sweet reminder to me of the divinity of our Heavenly Fathers hand. This all started in Kirtland Ohio, I was serving a mission for the LDS church at the Historic Kirtland Visitor Center. It was there that I was reconnected with an old friend and religion professor. I had come to find out that he recently moved to a completely different state while I was serving my mission so it would have been extremely hard for me when I returned home to ever find him or get in touch with him again. We were both completely amazed that we found each other. We talked quite a bit after the tour and we ended up talking about my art. In my scriptures I kept a picture of my painting "He that is without Sin" and I felt like I should give that picture that I had with me my entire mission to this dear friend. I wrote my information on the back and that was pretty much the end of it. (I had no idea how largely that impression to give my picture to him was influenced by the Spirit.)

Fast forward to maybe four months later I was in my room painting when I received a call from this same dear friend. He said:

"McKenzie, I would like to tell you a story... This last weekend my son and daughter-in-law gave birth to their first son, our fifth grandson. Unfortunately, he only lived about 8 hours and then returned home. Needless to say, we have grieved tremendously over their loss. As I contemplated what I could do to help them in their grief, a thought came to mind:

Father, this child we commend to thee

With hearts that are saddened,

But also gladdened,

That he’s ours for eternity.

With the thought came a picture of four parental hands lifting a child swaddled in a blanket being handed upward to hands coming down from heaven. Then I thought of your picture, and your beautiful portrayal of the Savior’s hands. I thought, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have McKenzie paint the picture that I saw in my mind’s eye..?"

My heart broke for him, but at the same time I couldn't help but be completely amazed at Heavenly Father's Majesty. How beautiful His plan is and how blessed we are to have an understanding of this plan. I was then greatly humbled by the opportunity to serve my friend, his family, and to be an instrument in helping others feel Heavenly Father's love for them. This is what I have always wanted to do with my art. I have always dreamed of putting this talent that I love with every fiber of my being completely and fully in God's hands so that I can serve and lift others by doing what I love.

Though this painting is signed with my initials I cannot take credit for it (and I feel the same way about "He that is Without Sin".) Yes there are plenty of imperfections and I will gladly take credit for those, but I truly feel that I was blessed with help from Heaven to complete this piece for this sweet family.

This painting is a symbol of sacrifice. It is a symbol of the things that we sometimes have to give up, even if they are the things we love the most. It is a symbol of the price we sometimes have to pay, but the peace of knowing that whatever it is we give we will be rewarded ten fold in the eternities. And most of all this painting is a symbol of our Savior. Who was given to the world by perfect Heavenly Parents, to an imperfect world. The greatest sacrifice that has ever been made. The Condescension of God. The greatest gift for each and everyone of us.

So that we can be His for eternity.

"He that is without sin among you..."

“He that is without sin among you”

This painting comes from the story in the Bible found in John Chapter 8: 1-11

1 Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.

2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple , and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.

3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery ; and when they had set her in the midst,

4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.

7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.

9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience , went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

As I was working on my painting, I was thinking a lot about that story and how Christ was so ready to forgive. He did not let the accusers phase his judgment of this woman because he knows her perfectly and loves her perfectly where these Pharisees know her not. Also the Pharisees and Scribes aren’t without sins of their own so they have no right to be the ones at the judgment of this woman. The other thing that I think is incredible about that story is that he waited for everyone to leave before he talked to her and let her know that her sins are forgiven. That just shows how intimate the atonement of our Savior is, and how personal our relationship with the Him is. I think that that is such a beautiful thing that he forgives us on such a persona level. That he doesn't let other people in on our repentance and forgiveness process.

Please bear with me as I try to explain some other insight I received about this story while painting it and studying it. When Christ writes in the sand/dust of the earth I realized that WE are likened unto the dust of the earth. So I wanted to know what that could mean. Christ pressed his finger into the dust of the earth and wrote something in it during this woman’s process of repentance. After reading a few talks and scripture about this story I realized that as we repent Christ is constantly impressing things and lessons upon our hearts. Because we are the dust of the earth we are not perfect and we let these things can be blown away, we forget, they don’t always stay permanently. That’s why we sometimes have to learn the same lesson over and over again. Yes, we are pretty pathetic… BUT we can rejoice because the savior is always there to impress things upon our hearts and he is right there ready to forgive us. Through Him one day we will be like the earth during the second coming. We will be burned in the Refiner’s Fire and be turned from dust to glass or silver or gold (3Nephi 24: 2-4) where we will let things be impressed on us forever and perfectly. (D&C 101: 25-28) We will be perfectly obedient to the Father. WE CAN AND WILL BE PERFECT! But for now we are still the dust of the earth but let us rejoice that Christ is always there to be perfectly forgiving of us, and let us rejoice that He will never stop impressing his finger on our hearts.

A Glimpse of Eternity

A Glimpse of Eternity

I feel like it was just yesterday I was in primary singing "I love to see the temple, I'm going there someday, to feel the Holy Spirit, to listen and to pray." 

And next thing I know I was going there and that someday was happening. I had the opportunity to receive my endowment and go through the temple last month. I have a testimony of the temple and I want to share that testimony with the world because the temple is the most beautiful and desirable thing I have ever partaken of, and I genuinely want that happiness to be felt by everyone. As humans we constantly have a feeling of not belonging or feelings of loneliness or even confusion. I want to testify to you that I know why we are here and I know that we are never alone and I know that there is a place where we can all belong. That place of peace is in the arms of our Savoir, by partaking of His gospel and His atoning sacrifice. The temple was a huge strength to my testimony of that. I have never been anywhere where I have felt more at home, loved, and full of joy than while in the House of the Lord. I strongly believe that the temple gives a glimpse of eternity. It is a place where we can realize how worth it is for us to follow Christ and endure through all the hard things in this life. The temple is a place that helps us get through the worldly trials by reminding us to focus back in to what is truly important. 

When I left the temple for the first time I always have the strongest urge to turn around, run back inside and stay there forever. That was one of the first times it truly hit me that the temple is an important place that my spirit desperately wants to be. It also reminds me that I want to and need to use the atonement of my Savior so I can be clean and worthy to be in a place like the temple for all of eternity.

If you are still waiting for that "someday" that you will be going to the temple to come... Never stop preparing for it. It will bless your life and it will come sooner than you can imagine.

If you have already been through the temple... Never stop going and never forget the feelings that you have while in the House of the Lord. It will bless your life and prepare you for the things of eternity.

If you don't know what a temple is or don't know what The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is... please find out and have an open mind. I can tell you that I know first hand that it will bless your life. It is the only way to true happiness. Quit looking to money, jobs, sports, hobbies, the media, etc. for happiness because true happiness can only be found in faith in Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice for YOU! You deserve to feel this happiness that I am feeling. I want all to partake of it.

God's Saving Waters.

God's Saving Waters.

A few months ago I had a terrifying experience. One of the scariest things that has ever happened to me actually. My roommate, Ella and I decided to summit Signal Peak, the highest peak in southern Utah, but we decided to start our hike at 10:00... At night.... We thought we were pretty well prepared for our journey we told multiple people where we were going and when to expect us back. I had a huge pack with three water bottles, a sleeping bag, food, tent, headlamps, water filter all the essential needs for a pack-in hike. My roommate felt pretty well prepared as well, but once we started hiking she realized she left all of her water back at our apartment. I felt like what I had would be plenty for the both of us so we decided to press on and try to summit this mountain. Slowly the trail got more and more thin and confusing, it was really hard to follow. We had to retrace our steps countless times to try to find where we were supposed to hike. Eventually we got lost, it was dark and we literally couldn't hike up any further because. If we went any higher we would be rock climbing up cliffs. So we set up our tent and decided to wait until morning when it was light to decide where to go and what to do.

The next morning we decided to just hike back to our car because water was short and we didn't want to not finish the hike before everyone started to worry about us. We trekked back down the mountain following what we thought was the trail/dried up river that we thought we had followed up. The stream trail seemed so much longer than it felt going up and slowly it got more and more thick with bushes, trees and rocks. We were dodging branches, spider webs, boulders, poisonous plants and who knows what else. It was hot and we felt like this dried up stream would never end I remember praying so many times asking Heavenly Father to let the road that lead to our car be just behind the next tree... but it never was there. Every time getting disappointed but trying hard not to loose faith. Eventually I felt prompted to stop following the river and to hike up the ridge on the right side of the stream. I really didn't want to do that. We were exhausted and running out of water but we pressed on. Once we started hiking uphill again we realized it wasn't just a leisurely stroll up a mountain it was THICK with spiky bushes and cacti, sometimes we couldn't even walk through them it was too thick. We had to kick down these bushes with our legs and feet just to take even a small step up the hill. Our clothes were completely shredded and we were both so dehydrated. We needed to ration our water because who knew how much longer it would be until we saw a road... let alone our car. As we kept crawling up this mountain I lost hope a couple of times. In all honesty I started to pray for a helicopter to fly by and life flight us back home. So many times I wanted to stop moving and just cry, I knew I couldn't stop though. I knew I couldn't cry. I had to stay strong for Ella. I knew if one of us started crying we both would start and we wouldn't be able to keep moving. More and more prayers were said while bush whacking through this hill. Over and over I felt like my limits were tested to their max but some how I had the strength to climb up just one more rock or kick over just one more spiky tree and to take just one more step.

Eventually, after what seemed like hours we arrived to the top of the hill and assessed the situation. There was a road on the other side of the hill that we climbed up which was a huge relief. We looked at the road and where it lead to we could see about two miles of the road. No signs of camp grounds, trails, or even cars but we decided to go to it anyway. There was about a mile and a half to get to the road through the same thick stuff we just hiked through. We made different landmarks that we just had to get to them then we could take a small break and get a small drink. There was a place that looked like it could potentially be a stream and me and Ella both tried not to get our hopes up but inside both of us were just wanting it to be there so badly. At one of our landmarks we decided to kneel and pray together. This was one of the most faithful prayers I have ever offered in my life, I have never before been so specific in the things I've asked for in my prayer but it just happened and afterwards I just felt confident that my Heavenly Father was aware of our needs. I asked Heavenly Father to give us water so that we wouldn't get dehydrated. I also asked for a car to drive by once we got to the road so we could have a way back to our car.

We eventually got to the spot that we thought was going to be a stream. Our excitement rose as we moved closer toward it, but it broke our hearts when we saw that it was completely dry. Not wanting to dwell on the fact that we were so thirsty and God didn't bless us with a stream too long we kept trekking to the road and tried our best not to loose faith and hope. We were almost officially out of water once we got there. Literally one drop left in both our water bottles we felt like it was the end... There wasn't a car there to the rescue right away and we both could barely put one foot in front of the other. We followed the road for about three minutes not sure how in the heck we made it this far but still so scared and worried about how much further we would have to hike. After both of our last drops of water were gone we heard something... It was running water. I don't know how we did it but WE RAN! And God Bless America the most beautiful stream was right in front of us.We both used my water filter (shout out to my dad for teaching me to be prepared) and drank and drank and drank until we couldn't drink any more.

When I saw the stream I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry I was so happy. It was the most beautiful thing not just beautiful as in nature beautiful but it was so beautiful because I knew it was from my Father in Heaven. I knew he gave us that stream when we needed it most. It's amazing because I thought I knew when I needed the water most. I thought I had reached my limit so much sooner than I actually did. It was such a great lesson to learn because Heavenly Father knows when we've reached our limits and he knows how strong we really are. Sometimes we go through hard times felling that we've reached our limit feeling like we can't move on. We think we need our stream and saving water right then when really we can go so much further, we are so much stronger than we think. God knows us so much better than we know ourselves. He knows how strong we are. He knows precisely when we're at our last drop of water and we need His saving stream. I look back at all the times where I thought I needed the stream and in all reality I wouldn't have appreciated it as much as I did when I got it. That just shows how perfect Heavenly Fathers timing is He knows how to give us what we need, when we need it most and how teach us the lessons we need to learn to strengthen our testimony of Him.

When we were done drinking from the stream we got back on the road and not one minute later we saw a LIVE HUMAN man and his son and daughter panning for gold in the stream. We explained to the man what ha happened to us and told him where our car was and he said that it is about two miles away from where we were. He offered too drive us back to our car. God answers prayers.

Me and Ella were both in tears and felt so loved and blessed by Heavenly Father. Heavenly Father knows you and He knows what ever you are going through and His hand is in your life more than you think. He will bless you with your stream when you truly need it. We need to just trust in Him, learn what we need to learn, and never forget to pray. The blessings in the end are beyond what you can imagine.

I go to the giving stream often and it is a symbol of God's love and plan for me.
 This is a photograph I took of it a few days ago.
 The painting above is of  Signal Peak and the road we trekked on to get to the stream.

Our Sacred Places

Our Sacred Places.

Lately I've been trying so hard to search for the tender mercies in my life. It's been amazing to see how truly involved Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are in each and everyone of our lives. If He had enough time to prompt me to stop and get a doughnut so I would just miss being involved in a car accident he has enough time to be involved in all the small and simple things in your life. I have come to learn that if something is important to you it is important to Him and He will be with you.

While on my excursion to recognize God's hand in my life I have come to learn that many times we can see His hand and fell so close to Him and Christ in what I like to call "Our Sacred Places." Joseph Smith went to the Sacred Grove, Zechariah went to the temple, Christ went to the Garden of Gethsemane. I realized that I have had my own Sacred Groves, Temples, and Garden of Gethsemane's in my life and I am almost positive you have found them too. Many times they have been in the temple. Other times have been in nature, like at girls camp or hiking with a good friend or family member. And sometimes at historical Church sites, during sacrament meeting, young woman's, relief society, institute and seminary. But these tender moments don't always have to be what at first glance seems like a significant and sacred place. I feel like more often then not I am so blessed to feel of my Fathers and Christ's love for me as I'm sincerely studying scriptures in my bedroom or as I'm praying in my car or on walk, talking about the gospel with a good friend.

I think what I'm trying to get at with this painting and the rambling on of a blog post is...

The simple message that I know YOU (whoever you are that is reading this) have a Heavenly Father that loves you and is very much aware of you. It doesn't matter where you are, but if you are seeking Him and asking Him to show his love for you with a sincere heart He will show you His unconditional love. He will let you know Him and His Son. You can receive a greater understanding about the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the scriptures, the Fall of Adam, the First vision, His divine plan for you. You can ask Him anything and with that you will feel His great great love! Anywhere can be a Sacred Place because God is always there just waiting for us to ask to know Him.
 

Trying to Follow the Master Painter

Trying to Follow The Master Painter

Two things that have had a huge impact on who I and how my testimony is what it is... are first of all, painting and secondly, the mountains. I am a strong believer that Heavenly Father gives us talents and hobbies for a specific reason, to either help us grow closer to Him, or to help others grow closer to Him, or both! I'm sure I'm far from the point where my art brings others closer to Him and I really hope to get there some day, but mostly I want to express how painting and my love for the mountains have brought me closer to Him, the Significance Behind Colour for me.

As a painter I absolutely painting skies... night skies, sunsets, sunrises, stormy skies, blue skies, and the skies of the galaxy. Many times I'll be looking at the sky and think of how I would go about painting it, and many times while painting a sky I am amazed at all the detail and color that goes into it, something that is always right above our heads. I then remember who the Master Painter of the all skies really is, He paints a new sky for us constantly throughout the day and throughout the night. I then look down and look all around me and I come to know this Master Painter even better as I see the beauty that is just pouring out of the trees, rivers, mountains, animals, lakes, glaciers, grass, flowers, and in the people I know. I often go to the mountains and just try to take it all in. I try to see my Fathers hand in the beauty of the mountains. I picture him sculpting the cliffs and rocks and trees, and try to envision Him painting the sky with his finger tips. I love going to the mountains because I am so close to the hand of God and I am surrounded by his creations without the interruption of the things of man. Our Heavenly Father blesses us so much by the beauty that surrounds us and through painting I can catch a glimpse of the joy that comes through creation. I love trying my hardest to follow the prefect brush strokes of the Master Painter's glorious hand.

(The painting above is the view of Mt. Nebo from the summit of one of my very favorite mountains to climb.)